Some sixteen years ago my sister was life flighted to a special hospital where she had an emergency c-section to deliver twin boys nearly 3 months early. One of the boys was sent to the NICU. The other was run across a passageway to the NICU in a specialty children's hospital. About 20 hours later after a tiny nearly-impossible glitch in the life support system the sicker of the two boys passed away.
Nearly a year and a half ago my brother and his wife learned their daughter would likely not survive full term, but could die any day in her mother's womb. Tearful story short, this girl was a fighter. She did survive 4 more months to full term. She survived delivery. She lived for three days, then in the arms of her father and mother she passed away.
Several weeks ago a friend's nearly teenage daughter, in a fluke accident, was left brain damaged and sedated in an advanced PICU, hoping the swelling would go down. A few days later and just two weeks before what would have been her 13th birthday, she passed away.
A couple of months ago through a blessed series of events my uncle discovered he had advanced pancreatic cancer. His grown children, my cousins, watched and did all they could to support their failing father and soon to be widowed mother. Less than a month after his diagnosis he passed away.
Several months ago my brother-in-law's father was diagnosed with advanced brain tumors. The right medicine became available at the right time and they were hopeful for a little more time to have this husband, father, and grandfather around. This also happens to be the father of my friend who lost her daughter so recently. Not long after that young girls death it was discovered that there was nothing more to be done for her grandfather's tumors. Two days ago he passed away.
Just this afternoon we learned that another family member's greatly hoped for pregnancy has ended in miscarriage.
It is true that I'm at least one step away from all these problems. My daughters are all healthy. My husband is healthy. I'm not dying (which is about the best I can say). My mom is healthy. But I still mourn and grieve over these losses. I can see people on every side of me hurting and wishing to be with these loved ones. My heart hurts for them. And at the same time I cling a little tighter to the ones that matter so much to me.
To those who are drowning in a lake of grief and emotional pain: I'm sorry. I am so sorry you are going through this. No, I do not know the same level of grief as you do. I do know a thing or two about drowning, though. I send my love, my compassion, and my hope that you can find your feet to stand up above the grief that may seem to be drowning you today.
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