The last few weeks have been busy. Many wonderful things have been going on with my daughters finishing up their school year. Many difficult things have been going on as well. The busy schedule has kept me a little (or a lot) short on sleep and far too tense. Therefore, there has been quite a bit of pain involved in recent weeks.
The best way to describe the pain I've been getting in my legs is this: it feels the way I suspect it would feel if each individual muscle fiber was being torn to shreds with burning hot pokers. Times 10. The only relief I could find involved a very long, very hot soak in the tub with essential oils, Dr Pepper, and chocolate cake. The last two items are essential to emotional healing.
Earlier this week I helped out at Field Day at my girls' elementary school. I had helpers for moving big things and thought I was doing really well with being cautious. After the first 2 hours I was toast. I occasionally bent to pick up a ball. No running, no heavy lifting, no twisting or overextending. It has taken most of the week to get past the severe leg pain. NOT FAIR! >Sorry, had to get that out of my system<
I've been working very slowly and gradually on reclaiming my kitchen. When my legs are in that much agony I'm not awesome at doing healthy home cooked meals and washing the dishes. One of the harsh realities of my life. So now I'm trying to catch up. Today I did two dishwasher loads of dishes and scrubbed a few dirty cookie sheets. I've been working on trying to let my movements be more natural with less "guarding" of tender areas. The idea in my head being that moving more naturally may help some joints feel better.
It backfired big time. I cannot unload the dishwasher. I cannot wipe the counter tops. I cannot even move my right elbow from being glued to my side because of the agony in my shoulder. The left arm is bad, but not as bad as the other. It's like an angry wolverine trying to burrow in to my joints sending screaming shrieks of pain in every direction.
Ouch.
Seriously. Ouch.
Now that summer is here I will be focusing on learning my limits. I want to enjoy the time with my daughters. I want to be able to play when WE're ready. Acceptance is not easy. I'm still fighting and I'm going to have to streamline my battle or I'm going to lose.
